Published: Monday, September 21, 2009 in The Whitworthian.

Welcome to The Muse, where you can come when you’re not sure what exactly you want out of your newspaper reading experience. Each week I will deliver something off the wall/unexpected/totally bonkers up for your reading pleasure, and you can then write me scathing letters about contributing to the death of serious journalism.

It’s the beginning of another year here at Whitworth, if you didn’t know. It’s an event that used to strike me as a tragedy, because I would no longer have any time to do anything fun. I vaguely remember long summers filled with blissful emptiness. Freshmen, you might still have one more of those summers to look forward to. After that, that nasty thing called the real world begins to sink its claws into your life. If you’re feeling like you have spare time right now, value every second of it because it will inevitably betray and abandon you like a rabid Old Yeller. On the other hand, if you’re already feeling overwhelmed, count yourself lucky because you’ll get used to it quicker. The sooner you can callous over your free spirit, the sooner you’ll be able to move on with your life and get good grades and stuff.

Things are hopping in the world of strange news. ITWire.com is reporting on a developing story in Sacramento, Calif., where a trial is being held to determine the role of a radio station, KDND-FM, in connection with the death of a woman. The woman apparently died while participating in a contest which required her to imbibe copious amounts of H2O while at the same time not disposing of said H2O post-digestion in order to win a Nintendo Wii (pun time!).

That would make the story odd enough, but now one of the lawyers working the case wants jurors to sign a form promising (crossing their hearts and hoping to die) that they won’t use their iPhones, Blackberries, Pres, and other assorted mobile devices to access Google. Jurors, of course, are bound by law to not discuss the details of court cases with outside sources, and to not view outside news sources which might sway their opinions. Apparently convenience is winning out over the honor system. Personally, I think it’s just the next step in Google’s slow but inevitable march toward taking over the world.

On the other side of the country, Popular Science brings us a story of a New York school whose curriculum is based entirely around games – video games and board games, specifically. A group of sixth graders will get to test drive the new program and spend their school days playing Spore and Little Big Planet. Supposedly it’s quite structured and the lucky kiddies will actually be getting an education in there somewhere, but it all sounds more like a nefarious attempt to make college students jealous of sixth graders. I know it’s working in my case. I’d take Core 150 every semester if I got to play Western Civilization instead of just reading about it in a bunch of dusty ol’ fashioned books.

So there you have it. A dose of oddball to brighten your day. Cherish it – exams will soon push all the nonsense from your mind.