Published: Monday, March 16, 2009 in The Whitworthian.

Oh, those gamers. That subculture of keyboard commandos; that society of cyber-athletes; that clandestine club of code-monkeys. It seems like they’re everywhere these days: in the dorms, in the back of the classroom, in their parents’ basements. Most of them subsist solely on Bawls energy drink and Captain Crunch, and are most active around 3 a.m.

To most of the world, the gamer is a curiosity. At best he is an object of admiration from that one guy who can never seem to run and aim in the same direction while playing “Halo 3.” At worst he is that creepy, unshowered creature who smells like stale Cheez-Its that your mother warned you about. However, the truth is that gamers are people, too, and a few of them are even likeable fellows tragically misunderstood.
And so I have taken it upon myself to attempt to bridge this gap. I delve daily into their world and attempt to understand their ways. And here I present to you the first of my findings: A glossary of gaming terms, translated and explained.

These are the terms of engagement, the words and phrases that gamers have either invented or twisted to their own nefarious ends. Some are entirely new words that have no meaning outside of gaming; some are real words that have entirely different meanings to a gamer than to the rest of the world. A great many are acronyms, most of which can be used as words when spoken phonetically. Read and comprehend, you outsiders, and you’ll be trading jargon with the pros in no time.

Noob: Traditionally, someone new to gaming, but expanded definitions can include anyone or anything that just isn’t quite up to par, aka Apple computers, movies based on video games, people who are not named Harrison Ford, and anyone who isn’t reading my blog (conveniently linked to at Whitworthian.com).  Traditionally spelled with two zeroes: n00b.

Hacks: A term used to describe behavior not sanctioned by the rules of a game. Also known as ‘h4x’, ‘haxorz,’ ‘cheats’, and ‘WTF, mate?’

Spawn point: A point of origin; in the real world, this would be known as the womb, for most people anyway.

Pwn: To ‘own’, as in to utterly defeat, as in “I totally pwned u at frizbee, LOL”. And it’s pronounced ‘own’, not ‘pone’.

Gamer Name: A bit like a code name, a series of characters meant not only to identify yourself to the gaming public, but also to hide your real identity from any relatives you might happen to stumble upon (and you’d never know it, since your grandpa never told you he was your nemesis, OldMan1ndaTea99).

CAPS LOCK: The typing format used by people who take themselves far too seriously.

WTF?: An old baking term; literally, Where’s The Flour? The story of this term’s curious migration from the bakery to the gaming world is long and mostly boring, but the gist of it is that in olden days, n00bs were known to steal bread ingredients.

FTW: Curiously enough, this does not stand for Flour’s The Where. Instead, this handy acronym is translated ‘For The Win’ and is synonymous with ‘awesome’, as in the phrase, “Cap’n Crunch FTW, LOL!”

LOL: An intensely overused acronym that once stood for Laughing Out Loud, but now merely means ‘I am mildly amused.’ Can be improved through the use of various extensions, such as LOLerskates; LOLerpop, or LOLOLOLOL.

ROFL: This acronym has taken the place of LOL as the term used when wanting to communicate actual laughter — literally, Rolling On the Floor Laughing
ROFLCOPTER: A curious convergence of the terms ROFL and helicopter; and, truthfully, the image of a helicopter rolling on the floor laughing is pretty much LOLOLOLOL.

STFU: Another acronym, standing for Silence, Thou Foolish yoUth!

Death: In the real world, the end of a life; in the gaming world, a temporary annoyance which is easily remedied by loading a saved game.

Leveling up: A bit like graduation, except with more epic; when, in the game world, one has killed enough bad guys/collected enough jewels/stomped enough small animals, a level-up is the reward, enabling your character to become stronger and kill badder guys/collect huge jewels/stomp large animals.

!: traditionally, the exclamation point is used to denote surprise or intensity. In gaming terms, however, a single exclamation point merely indicates a level of excitement barely over comatose. To truly communicate surprise, try adding several. For shock or intense surprise, add one or two 1s to the end. For example, Surprise = OMG!!!!! Big surprise equals ZOMG!!!!!11

So there you have it, the terms of engagement. While this is indeed only a partial list of gaming lingo and terminology, these core terms will get you in the door. Go forth now, and enter the world of gaming without fear.