Those of you out there who aren’t total n00bs at paying attention know that Dragon Age: Origins is being released next week.  Bioware’s latest epic is showing all the signs of a modern classic: Dragons, swords, rich characters, dragons, intense combat, robust story, and dragons.

As excited as I am for the game to be released (look for a review right here in the relatively near future), I’m starting to get more and more frustrated with the marketing tactics that Bioware is employing (or allowing to be employed).

You see, Dragon Age has been bitten by the Windows Vista bug.  No, no, I don’t mean it’s fatally flawed.  I mean that the game is being released in like 18 different versions.

Most of the major game retailers, digital and otherwise, are pushing their own variation on the Dragon Age: Origins theme.  The core game will remain the same wherever you buy it, but through in-game items, exclusive quests, even an entire DLC that you only get with certain versions, each retailer is offering a different experience with the game.  Even PC Gamer is getting in on the customizable game, offering an exclusive quest line only available to those who buy the holiday issue of the game.

It’s true that most of these exclusive items won’t affect gameplay all that much, or will be available to everyone eventually.  But it’s still a frustrating experience as a customer looking to buy a game when everywhere I look it’s a different package being offered to me.  As a gamer, I don’t want to have to choose the optimum package that will give me the best experience playing the game. I want the freakin’ game, and I want the whole bloody experience in exchange for the truckload of money I’m forking over.

Instead, though, I’m forced to alt-tab between Steam’s “Digital Deluxe Edition,” Amazon’s exclusive cocktail of special in-game boots and rings, Gamestop’s confusing mess of something that sounds like something I’d want while playing, and still feel like I’m probably going to miss out on something if I don’t track down and check out what everyone else is offering.  And now I have to buy a copy of PC Gamer, too.

Back in the distant past (aka, five years ago or so), when you bought a game, you bought the whole game.  Then collector’s editions became popular, mostly because publishers realized they could squeeze a few extra bucks from a our emaciated wallets by including a few bells and whistles alongside the game.  These usually game in the form of a “making-of” DVD, a soundtrack, or maybe a collectible doo-hickey (swag!).

This was all fine and dandy.  Going into the store, I knew that I could either get the game, or I could shell out an extra ten dollars and get the game with an action figure.  Now, I go into the store, and I have no idea what I’m getting.

Sadly, as brick and mortar stores struggle to find ways to keep pace with digital distributors like Steam and Direct2Drive, this is probably a trend we’ll start seeing more and more of.  Eventually, I hope that publishers come to their senses with stuff like this however.  You’d never see the latest Hollywood blockbuster given different treatment at different theater chains (at Regal Cinema’s, Frodo destroys the ring; at AMC, a lava dragon gnaws his face off).  As the industry matures, respect for the medium will, in theory develop.

Until then, I’ll get back to deciphering exactly what I’m going to be missing out on when I get my copy of Dragon Age.

Jerod Jarvis is an independent gaming journalist and founder of Duality Games. He maintains gaming columns for The Washington Times Communities and for The Outpost. When not blogging madly about games, he freelances for the Spokesman-Review in his hometown of Spokane, Washington and attends school at Whitworth University. Check out his presence on Facebook and Twitter to stay up on Duality Games updates and the inside scoop on the gaming news you care about.